Resistance and Indifference

As the reality that the beginning of school is fast-approaching, I would like to take a moment to address something that has been bothering me ever since I began the process of applying to school. One would think that since I have had a career as a professional dancer that I would have grown accustomed to peoples' indifference regarding how I choose to make a living. I have spent the last 7 years and really my whole young adult/adult life defending my decision to dance and pursue a career as a dancer. Let me tell you, it has been exhausting. There are some that find it exciting and tend to over-glorify the situation when I say I am a dancer. Then there are those that think I'm a Rockette or that I perform on Broadway, or my personal favorite: a stripper. Of course, there are many people that understand what it means to maintain a career as a modern dancer - especially in a city like New York - who respect my decision and even (gasp) think it's a worthwhile or meaningful career. Now that I'm transitioning into a career as a social worker, you can only imagine the responses I've been getting. Most people look at me as though I have eight heads and I'm speaking a foreign language that they don't understand. Social work? Why would anyone want to be a social worker? My daughter-in-law worked as a social worker and she hated it! So-and-so worked as a social worker and it's really exhausting work. Oh, that's so difficult. Oh, social work, that's nice. So, after spending most of my life defending how I make a living, here I am entering a new realm that makes being a professional dancer seem a bit more par for the course.

Lately, when people have been asking me what do you do? I find myself wanting to run in the other direction. How I wish that I could provide a simple answer that people would accept and that I didn't have to feel their judgement lingering in the air between us. I'm beginning to think of it as my Mary Poppins moment: snap your fingers and things magically appear before your eyes, practically perfect in every way. Maybe I should just start making up answers or maybe I won't respond at all and instead I'll counter their question with a question of my own. What if we were to ask each other instead: what do you enjoy?  OR what makes you YOU? Why is it that when we meet people, the first question asked is always so, what do you do? As if we are defined by our careers. But, I would argue that as people, we are so much more than that. I realize that many people take great pride in their careers and invest a lifetime of energy in developing their career, but if at the end of the day, our existence is based upon what we do at work, then where does that leave us as people? I am frightened by this mentality. Whatever happened to maintaining a separation between our work and our personal lives? I humbly acknowledge that this is a complicated discussion and by no means, do I pretend to be a voice of authority.

At the very least, if you ask the question what do you do? be prepared for the answer and for once, don't assume anything more or less than the answer you are given. After all, we are all just people trying to do what we can to survive and for some this thing called living is easier than for others. In the meantime, I am proud of all that I have done in my life to this point and I'm thankful that I possess the courage to venture out into the unknown in pursuit of something new. Maybe my response next time will be: I intend to love living as much as I can and how I choose to do that is not up for your evaluation.